dee.writing » Joke

Hand Job

meauw — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 00:18:03 +0000

A man is sitting at a bar and says to the bar tender, “I’m horny, do you know where I could get some good lovin’?”
The bar tender replies, “Sure upstairs, two doors on the right.”
So the man walks up to the second door on the right and in the middle of the room stood a beautiful hooker.

He asked her, “How much for a hand job?”
The hooker answered, “$25!”
He said in astonishment, “Damn, you must be good for that price!”
The hooker said, “Look outside: see that apartment, I bought that with all of the hand jobs I have given.”

The man paid and got a hand job. When the hooker was done he asked, “How much for a blow job?”
The hooker answered, “$50!”
The man again replied, “Damn, you must be good for that price!”
The hooker stood up and said, “Look outside: see that car, I bought that with all of the blow jobs I have given.”
So the man again paid and got his blow job.

When the hooker was done he asked, “How much for a little pussy?”
The hooker stood up once again looking outside and said, “Look outside: see that city, I would own all of that if I HAD a pussy!”

You Got Male!!!

meauw — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 00:15:00 +0000

A little boy goes to his father and asks “Daddy, how was I born?”
The father answers: “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: You got Male.

Chinese Names Annie Wan :-)

meauw — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 06:06:03 +0000

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller : I’m Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It’s urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone!
But what’s this urgent matter about?
Caller : Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noe Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noe Wan (no one) got injured and now Noe Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have timefor this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator : I’m Saw Lee (Sorry).
Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

[Well, telephone could kill you !]

Logic Thinker

dewa.i — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 06:42:16 +0000

Saya tahu joke ini sudah lamaaa beredar, tapi masih enak dibaca, dan lagi susah dihapal untuk diceritakan kembali …

Pada suatu hari di suatu bar, masuklah seorang berpakaian perlente dan minum di bar tersebut.
Sang bartender melihat manusia keren tersebut, tertarik dan obrolan pun terjadi.

Bartender: Apa pekerjaan bung?
Tamu: Ooooo saya adalah seorang LogicThinker.

Bartender bingung dan bertanya: Apa itu pekerjaan logic thinker ?
Tamu: Wah susah menerangkannya, soalnya memang bukan pekerjaan yang lazim, tapi saya akan beri anda contoh saja, Ok ?
Bartender : Ok !
Tamu : Begini, pertama-tama saya bertanya dulu, apakah anda punya akuarium?
Bartender : O ya, saya punya akuarium besuaaarrr di rumah
Tamu : Nah kalo anda punya akuarium, logisnya anda punya ikan
Bartender : O ya, saya punya ikan berbagai jenis
Tamu : Nah kalo anda punya ikan, anda pasti sayang binatang
Bartender : O ya, betul sekali ! Saya sangat sayang pada binatang
Tamu : Kalo anda sayang binatang, apalagi pada anak anda! Anda pasti sangat menyayangi anak anda
Bartender : Betul sekali (kegirangan) Saya mencintai anak saya lebih daripada ikan
Tamu : Nah logisnya, jika punya anak pasti punya istri
Bartender : Anda kok tahu ? Saya memang punya istri yang cantiiik…
Tamu : Tentu saja saya tahu karena itu semua hanya logis saja
Tamu : Nah sekarang pertanyaan terakhir, jika anda punya istri dan anak, berarti anda tidak impoten ! Betul ?
Bartender : 100% betul saya tidak impoten
Tamu : Nah begitulah kira-kira logic thinker itu…
Bartender : Oooo begitu tho ? Saya ngerti sekarang (sambil takjub)

Lalu setelah tamu itu pergi, datanglah teman si bartender dan bertanya:
Teman : Eh, kamu tadi kok asyik sekali omong apa?
Bartender : Ooo tadi saya membicarakan pekerjaan orang itu sebagai logic thinker
Teman : Apa itu logic thinker ?
Bartender : Begini lho saya terangkan (lagaknya kumat) pertama-tama saya tanya dahulu, kamu punya akuarium ndak ?
Teman : Ndak punya tuh ?
Bartender : (Berseru dengan keras dan pasti) OOO BERARTI ANDA IMPOTEN !!!!!
Teman : lah ???